Everything Comes With a Price

Ash has encouraged me to write a more honest blog today and to share how I feel about this whole experience. It's a hard blog for me to write. I've actually been sitting here for the past 20min trying to figure out how to start this... where do I begin?
The reason that Ash and I moved out here was for the financial security. We wanted to make a better life for ourselves... and we have. But with that comes a whole new set of struggles that we never had while living in America. I don't always enjoy living here. I think the hardest thing for me was to give up my independence. Maybe independence is the wrong word, I don't know. I've had a full time job since I was 15 years old. I've always enjoyed working and taking care of myself and not having to rely on somebody else. At the age of 20 I became a flight attendant and moved from my parents house, in Massachusetts, to Ohio. Living on my own felt like such an accomplishment. I sure wasn't rich but I was earning everything that I had, and that felt good. So, as you can imagine, it was devastating to have to sell all of my things in order to move out here. I felt like I was losing a small part of myself. And now I'm a housewife. It actually sounds funny to say. I've never wanted to be a housewife. (Please understand that I am not complaining, I'm just trying to share with you my struggles and the things that I'm adjusting to.) For the most part I really dislike cleaning and cooking. If I had to choose between the two I'd rather clean. I find no enjoyment in cooking. I admire those women that are always looking up the latest recipes and have their own little herbal and vegetable gardens. Sorry but I don't fit into that category. But my husband and I are a team and when he comes home from work, I want to make sure the house is cozy and there's a delicious meal waiting for him. No, he doesn't always come home to that but I'm still getting the hang of this housewife thing.

So what's the upside to all of this? I'm able to play my music again. It has been 4 years since I've been able to play consistently. It hasn't been easy to get back into it. Ash has bought me everything that I need to create music but I find myself feeling so intimidated to sit down and to be artistic again. It's weird, I've always wanted this opportunity, but now that I have it, I feel so lost, I don't know where to start. But I am slowly getting back into it. Playing music makes me feel alive.

Friendships are few and far between these days. It's hard to trust people. I have lots of sketchy stories to share, maybe in a later blog. Our only friends are people from Ash's job and even then, it's hard to trust people. Everyone seems to be in this for themselves and are quick to stab you in the back. We've learned our lesson.

It's also strange being a western woman in the Middle East. Although, Oman is much more liberal than the surrounding countries. I am aloud to drive, and I don't have to wear a scarf around my head, which is nice. But there is still that sense that you're a second class citizen. When Ash and I first moved into our apartment we hired some guys to install black out shades. After they had finished we had noticed some holes that they had left in the wall that needed to be filled. They said that they would come back to fix it. When they finally came back, Ash was in the USA and I needed to handle the situation on my own. The manager had told me that he would arrive at my place by 9am but didn't show up until 11pm. Then he apparently forgot the things he needed in order to fix the holes and said that he wouldn't be back for another week. I told him that that was completely unacceptable and he laughed in my face and asked where "The Boss" was ... meaning my husband. That was my reality check.

The Indian men constantly stare at western women. If I walk out of my apartment to throw away the trash it is a guarantee that all of the Indian workers will stop and stare at me like an animal in a cage. I could pass for an Omani with my skin complexion and hair so I've also noticed that a lot of the Omani women stare at me and sometimes give me dirty looks. I don't know, maybe they think that I'm a rebel.

I'll end my ranting there. And to think that that's just the short list! As you can see, it hasn't been an easy adjustment and I'm still trying to figure out my purpose in this new life of ours. All in time.

Oh, and this blog almost took me 3 hours to write .. geez! 

6 comments:

  1. youre very brave lizey!! I admire you - and you shouldn't be intimidated to be artisitic again - you have more talent than anyone i know and thats the truth!!!

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  2. awww Nickypoo! Thank you so much:)

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  3. Oh Eliza... If only I was near. I would cook for you and Ash everyday... My people make good housekeepers! Hang in there.. its not forever right? The challenges we encounter and how we handle them makes us interesting people with great stories! Can't wait to share those stories with you two.. over a nice dinner and wine... That's on me when you get back someday!

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  4. miss you guys! And I miss your cooking! I look forward to sharing all of our crazy stories with you two .. it'll be fun. I remember the last time I hungout with you guys and we drank margaritas and played wi fit and I pretended to ride a camel. ah, those were the days lol.

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  5. Even though I know things are a lot different for women over there, it still shocks me to hear about your experience with that guy.It's also crazy how different the standards of service are... I like Maritza's comment, and I agree that this experience :-) is going to add so much to your (already wonderful) character. As tough as the adjustments are, you have a rare opportunity to gain a new perspective on life. When things get tough, just remember it's the tough times that make us better people! I think these experiences will help to inspire you artistically too!

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  6. Their standards of service are completely different. Back home, if a company does you wrong, there is always a way to get what you rightfully deserve. Whether you have to complain to a manager or call the better business bureau, or sue .. there's always a way. But that is definitely not the case here. And even though adjusting here is difficult, I am grateful for the experience and opportunity. Like you said Krissy, I have a rare opportunity to gain a new perspective on life and it has opened my eyes to so many things that I would have otherwise not appreciated.

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